Poem for Alex

786

it was cold
that winter
when Alex left…
my heart was broken
long ago;
it remains
in that semi-state,
awakened and aware;
so death
touches it
(the heart)
lightly now.
but i miss him
(Alex)
with a thousand
wishes:
i should
have visited him;
i wanted to cook
for him; show him
new ways.
was he angry
with me?
for which
transgression–
my childhood
sibling tortures;
my head-strong meanderings,
my adult indifference
to problems and world-views
other than
my own…
he was a man
of gentle character
and many tears.
not hardened by
life
and it’s
trials.
the battle
wore him
down.

2.

my heart and space
felt empty
that time
he left
on the train
to Carolina
with Nana Dora;
we dropped them
at South Station
and goodbye.
we were young
and had no need
to recognize
time
in days
or hours…
but i felt him
more then.
who knows
the secrets
of siblings
unless they
are
told.

3.

i
have
no
hopes
for me:
the
world-traveled
multiple-degreed
purveyor
of spoken stories
and words
on (electronic) paper.
i am too small
too self-interested,
too ego-absorbed;
but i have hopes
for him (Alex):
rainbows and
rewards
beyond
this life;
a warm place
where Love
can be seen
and felt
in its fuller
divine
articulation;
memories,
and surprises,
hope renewed
and
no
regrets.

Linda Tauhid
January 12, 2015

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